It's been 18 - almost 19 weeks since I've had a little baby inside of me. For about 12 of those weeks I was so sick I could barely keep anything down or sit up for extended periods of time, but around 16, those feelings subsided for the most part, which has been such a gift. Props to all of those moms out there. Morning sickness (who are we kidding? All day and night sickness) is no joke.
Last week we went into the doctor excited to find out the gender of the baby. I know it's cool to wait these days, but we are way too impatient to wait 9 months. Unfortunately, the cord was in the way so the doctor told us he was 80% sure of one gender, but wouldn't give us a direct answer. We have another appointment next week where he'll check again and then I'll share with all of you.
It's kind of funny - I never felt like I really had a lot of innate maternal instinct. So many of my peers seemed to be so much more confident than I was when it came to their relationship with kids and their ability to bear children. But as soon as I knew this baby was mine, I felt this urgent love and defensive instinct. It's already been one of the hardest, most emotional experience of my life (how do women do this more than once?) but also the most empowering and fulfilling. I'm going to be somebody's mom. Those words bring a smile to my face every time.
I know this isn't earth-shattering news to anyone, and I don't expect it to be. I mean, everyone has kids. But it's kind of earth-shattering to us. September 2nd can't come soon enough.