Sometimes I forget I'm married. Which isn't to say that I forget about Sunny. I just forget that I'm a married woman - someone who has already made the biggest commitment of her life and sealed the deal legally and lives with a man. I just get so busy with me and he gets so busy with he and we're doing it together in a sense of course, but we are doing it together on our own.
But then other times I remember in strange ways. I am out with my girlfriends at Sprinkles and I wonder if Kevin would like a cupcake. (The answer is yes.) I am watching a little boy run around the park with wild hair and for a moment it is him. I am on a plane and the man next to me is snoring and all I wish is that he was there too so we could laugh together and he could fall asleep with his arm draped around my neck and join the snoring man.
It's not as hard as I thought it would be, but it's just as rewarding. It's not as life-changing as I thought it would be because I am still the same me I always was but somehow it manages to make everything else in my life matter a little bit more.
And maybe that's what marriage does for all of us. It makes life which is already deep and wide and short and flawed, a little richer. It is the salt. And I'm lucky to have it.